I hate small talk. I think it is necessary in some ways to get to know someone better, so deeper conversation can ensue, but I still don't like it. I wish I could just start talking to some stranger about their stance on an issue without having to ask their name, where they're from, what year they are in school, etc... first. I guess small talk is seen as the polite way to go about things in our society, and without doing so can be seen as rude, but sometimes I don't want to do it. There have been times that I just jump straight to a deep conversation right after meeting someone. A while ago, upon meeting one of my roommate's boyfriend, I said "so, what do you think about homosexuality?" I really wanted to know what he thought about the issue and didn't feeling like asking all of the preliminary questions I was supposed to ask to find out.
One of the typical versions of small talk I hate most is this one:
Person 1: "hi, how are you?"
Person 2: "Good, how are you?"
Person 1: "Good."
Person 2: "That's Good."
One embarrassing time, I repeated the previous conversation twice in a row with a person. Awkward.
Today, I almost had an embarrassing small talk conversation. I was washing dishes at the CK with a fellow worker. Conversation was starting to die and I almost asked "SO, where do you work?" Good thing I bit my tongue on that one.
I hear you Beth. These preliminaries can be so trifle. We should choose our words carefully and with purpose. However, let it ebb and flow.
ReplyDeletelol! beth that is so funny!
ReplyDelete2 things. 1 I'm glad you are writing. 2 I also wish I could skip the small talk and just talk about things that are important to me. That's why I like you.
ReplyDeleteI KNOW! I wholeheartedly agree! Small talk: hate it!
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading I thought you wrote: "as I was smashing dishes at the CK" that was funny and then I thought that might not be correct so I went back and read it again and learned that you were actually not smashing, but instead washing! haha!
i've totally repeated the "how are you?" conversation twice in a row too. I also hate it when, for the life of me, I can't think of a question that would get us past the small talk into something deeper. a lot of my conversations die at the small talk level, which really frustrates me.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to chime in with the chorus and say, "I HATE IT TOO!" You know what else I sort of hate lately: "How was Kilimanjaro?" More often than not, this is secretly a proud pat on the back for the asker. They're really just telling themselves, "See what a good friend I am? I haven't seen or talked to you in ages, but I remembered when I accidentally bumped into you that you climbed a mountain." But I know they don't really care when I say, "It was maybe the hardest thing I've ever done." and there's no follow up question. ok, so maybe this just happened. and maybe i'm in a bad mood anyway.
ReplyDeleteI know, Ben. I have the same problem. I want so desperately sometimes to really connect with someone... but maybe it's the issue of TIME. If I spent more time with the person, conversation would eventually get past small talk and get into something deeper because of the level of comfort the other person feels toward me. Nick- has that question almost become like a "how was your summer?... how was your break?..." type of question? I hate that for you. I remember our conversation about your trip this last summer and I seriously almost cried because it was so touching and inspiring. Just thought I'd let you know.
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