Warning: this was written while I was on Oxycodone...

I have never been able to pee on command. The last time I was asked to do so, at a doctor's office, I ended up having to stay an extra hour. Nothing came out, even after the extra hour, and I ended up having to take the cup home with me and bring it back to the office the next day.

Today was no exception. I was scheduled for a 7:00 am surgery. This meant no food or water past 12:00 AM last night... so naturally, I became pretty dehydrated. This fact, mixed with the fact that I had urinated before I went to the doctor, and the fact that I get really nervous when told to pee pretty much doomed me for the upcoming urine sample.

As soon as I was called back to the pre-op room, I was given a cup and told to pee in it. This is a very standard pre-op procedure; It just assures the doctors and nurses that the patient is not pregnant... if there is no urine sample, there is NO surgery. I took the cup and walked into the bathroom... knowing I would be in there for quite some time. After sitting in there for about 15 minutes, I came out and told the nurse that I just couldn't go.

She decided to go ahead and start my IV to try and get fluids in me to see if that would help. I put on the nice little gown without a back and held my arm out... but I was so dehydrated, she couldn't even find a vein and had to get another nurse to start it. After about 500 mL had been put in me, she took me to the bathroom again.

I sat there... and sat there some more. I turned on the water to see if that would help me out some. Nothing. I put my hand in warm water to see if that would help. Nothing. 30 minutes later.... still nothing. The nurse came in and I asked her what would happen to me if I couldn't pee. She said "then, you just won't have surgery."

... SO... I told the nurse to CATHETERIZE me. I actually told the nurse to put a catheter in. What was I thinking? Not really sure at this point.

I will not go into the details of explaining just how the catheter felt going in... for my non-medical field readers. If you really want to know, just come ask me later. I'll just say that I can now sympathize with my patients when I put one in them. I have never been so excited to get a urine sample before.

The surgery went well. It was a removal of a pilonidal cyst. I will not explain exactly what that is either... it's pretty gruesome. Again, if you want to know, just come ask me.

I'm glad I went through all of this though. I believe it will help me become a better nurse. Would I do it all over again just to gain the same perspective?

Well I don't know about that... I'll sleep on it and say later.